Today, May 30, 2020, is the Vigil of Pentecost - and also the ten year anniversary of my conversion. Conversion or 'metanoia' in Greek can be defined as the turning of one's life and heart; a complete change. In other words, conversion is a conscious decision to allow Jesus Christ to be at the centre of your life as Lord and Savior. I made this decision ten years ago at my Confirmation.
I was born into a very loving, Catholic family. My parents nurtured my faith by teaching me how to pray, sending me to Catholic school, and being witnesses to the vocation of marriage. There was never a time in my life that I did not know Jesus. All throughout my childhood, I grew to know and love Jesus more and more, especially through the Sacraments. But like most Catholic kids, my faith was not really my own - it was given to me by my family.
I like to think about my relationship with Jesus like riding a bike. At first, I had the training wheels on. I had my parents to model it for me and my teachers to educate me. At the Sacrament of Confirmation, I made the conscious decision to take the training wheels off and ride by myself. I remember preparing my heart in the weeks leading up to my Confirmation because God gave me the grace to really understand the gravity of what I was about to do. I remember standing at the altar and telling God that this is it - this faith is my own now; that I am choosing this relationship for myself because it is the best part of my life. And it still is.
Now, ten years later, I could never have imagined how beautiful my life would be. It is not a life I built for myself, nor the life I created on my "vision boards" over the years. Everything that I am and everything that I have has come straight from the heart of God. At the age of thirteen I wanted to be a veterinarian and professional equestrian, then later I wanted to be a teacher. At some point over the last decade, the desires I had for my future faded away and became unimportant to me. Their absence made room for bigger dreams, more adventures, and deeper longings in my heart - and God has filled each one.
St. John Paul the Great said, "life with Christ is a wonderful adventure," and I could not have said it better myself. There is nothing that I regret about living in the fullness of the Catholic faith, in a personal relationship with Jesus, with Him at the centre of my life, constantly following His will.
Recently, someone asked me why I gave up so much - a career, my friends, my whole life - to become a missionary. Yes, God has asked me to do crazy things over the last ten years and being a missionary is a truly a special vocation but I have never thought of my life as deprived of anything! In fact, God continually has given me more than I ever wanted in real and tangible ways. Like good wine, a relationship with Jesus just keeps getting better and better over the years. Our conversation reminded me of a quote from Pope Benedict XVI:
“Are we not perhaps all afraid in some way? If we let Christ enter fully into our lives, if we open ourselves totally to him, are we not afraid that He might take something away from us? Are we not perhaps afraid to give up something significant, something unique, something that makes life so beautiful? Do we not then risk ending up diminished and deprived of our freedom? . . . No! If we let Christ into our lives, we lose nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing of what makes life free, beautiful, and great. No! Only in this friendship are the doors of life opened wide. Only in this friendship is the great potential of human existence truly revealed. Only in this friendship do we experience beauty and liberation. And so, today, with great strength and great conviction, on the basis of long personal experience of life, I say to you, dear young people: Do not be afraid of Christ! He takes nothing away, and he gives you everything. When we give ourselves to him, we receive a hundredfold in return. Yes, open, open wide the doors to Christ – and you will find true life.”
Because of Jesus, my life is a wonderful adventure. This is why I am a missionary: because I want everyone to have a life that is free, beautiful, and great.
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